Praise the Lord, Chris Pratt Is Going on a Bible Diet
Chris Pratt has had such a big week! Last Friday, photos surfaced of a shirtless Chris Pratt and the chorus proclaimed: Chris Pratt’s dad body is back. Praise be. Granted, Chris Pratt’s dad bod is also what I would call aspirational, but you know what? Fine. Chris Pratt has a “dad bod” and as long as we’re celebrating it, call it what you want.
But one week later, Chris Pratt told People that he is embarking on something called the Daniel Fast. It’s a diet based on the Biblical story of Daniel, who asked the chief official if he could be pardoned from eating royal food and wine. He was permitted to do this for 10 days, after which he allegedly came out looking like a total snack. Seeing the results, everyone else followed his method, and thus Daniel founded the first fab diet. Take that, Robert Atkins.
The rules of the modern Daniel Fast are simple: You can only drink water, and you can only eat foods that come from seeds. You do this for 21 days, and then presumably, you thank God it’s over and reprioritize what matters in your life.
Upon doing a little research, the diet has been around for a while, but it was popularized by a woman named Susan Gregory who says on “a December day in 2007… God spoke to my spirit and said, ‘Write about the Daniel Fast.'” So she did. And now she has a book which you can buy on Amazon for about 10 bucks. Hallelujah.
But it makes me wonder, what if God led Chris Pratt back to his “dad bod” for a reason? Or what if Daniel had just been going a little too hard on the goat’s milk and leavened bread and was simply trying to get back to Biblical Dad Bod status? As a guy who likes to balance the gym with a piping hot plate of cheese fries, having Chris Pratt’s unchiseled body back in our world should be a celebration. And I think that God would agree with that.
Pratt’s Daniel Fast should end around the time he’ll be doing press for the next installment of The Lego Movie. He joked on his Instagram, “By the time you see me, I’ll probably be hallucinating.” Meanwhile, I encourage you to join me on my Biblically based diet where I only eat fish and drink wine throughout 2019. You bring the wine. I’ve got the catfish. Can I get an Amen?
